Habits Run Your Life
A large portion of your life is driven by habitual behavior. Even if you don’t have any “bad” habits you can think of (that’s amazing), habits run your morning and evening routines, what you choose to eat, how you communicate, how you spend your leisure time, how you drive. In short, everything.
Ever found yourself doing something with traditionally poor outcomes, such as eating that last piece of cake even though you’re full, and had an argument with yourself while you did it? Ever bully and badger yourself for it afterwards, while lying on the couch moaning like a beached whale? Oh, God, why did I eat that? I feel so gross, I’m never doing that again. I know I said that the last three times, but dammit! I mean it this time! There’s a reason people typically lose those fights. You’re not weak. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just weren’t in charge.
There’s a part of your brain called the basal ganglia, and it’s where your habits live. People who’ve suffered brain damage in that area have exhibited an inability to form new habits. May not seem too terrible but imagine having to relearn how to brush your teeth every single morning.
Habits are Programs
A habit is a program that runs in your brain. It starts with a cue, the program runs, and you get a reward at the end. Sometimes the reward is just a job well done. Other times it’s a food treat.
You have programs/habits for all sorts of things. Common tasks like morning routines, what you do when you get to work, or take a break. Even driving. In the Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg describes everything you have to do to back a car out of a driveway. It’s quite involved, and you can still do it while fiddling with the radio.
When a habit program runs, your brain hands over its decision-making reins to the basal ganglia. You won’t do something that’s blatantly self-destructive like get into the habit of throwing yourself into pools filled with piranhas, but chocolate cake isn’t that dangerous by itself. The next time you’re arguing with yourself over something, it’s quite possible that you’re arguing with a program running in your brain.
Finding the Programs
Habits stick around. The programs sit in your brain, sometimes for years. It’s one of the reasons addicts have such a hard time. The cue or trigger comes along, even years later, and boom! Program runs, often whether you like it or not.
But you’re not screwed. You can hack your habits. It’s difficult to break a habit cold. It’s better to replace the behavior with something else.
I’m a recovered alcoholic, sober over 25 years. When I quit drinking, I had to relearn how to do everything I used to do with a beer in my hand: barbecues, sporting events, campfires, eating, hanging out with friends, even reading. I drank a lot, it turned out. Physical addictions are worse than regular habits – the body’s reaction reinforces the habit, reinforces the reward (feeling better than having withdrawal symptoms is pretty great).
That habit was an easy one to identify. What about the habits you don’t even know about?
Carry around a small notebook for a few days and write down any behavior you think might be a habit. Note the following five things:
Time of day
Emotional state
Other people
Location
Action immediately preceding the target behavior
Do this for a few days, or however long it takes to identify the patterns, the commonalities. These are the places you look at to identify the exact cue, the trigger.
I journaled my behavior for three days. I found a few things, one of which was a repetitive afternoon excursion at work that ended with me standing in front of one of the snack machines in the building. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t hungry. It didn’t matter if I was full. I argued with myself all the way upstairs, through three doors, to the machine, tapping on the keys to dispense a candy bar, and I’d eat it while hating myself. That sucks. Every day of the work week, I had a self-loathing session mid-afternoon. I never enjoyed the candy bars.
The habit journal revealed that the cue was the time of day. Around 2:30 – 3:00pm, I took a break from work. I stood up – and everything after that was a program. I had the cue – standing up from my desk in the afternoon. Time to rewrite the program.
Rewriting the Programs
My goal was simple with my work break: end the candy bar at the end of the trip.
There are two important things to note about habit revision:
Don’t make big changes. Make small changes.
Plan ahead. Envision what you’ll do when confronted with the cue.
I first changed what I got from the machine. There are small bags of cashews, so I started getting those instead of the candy bar.
After getting the cashews for a couple of weeks, I changed the next thing: where I went. The snack machines happen to be right next to one of the exits.
Now I go right past the machines and continue on outside for a walk around the building. I get the break from work in the afternoon, but I’ve replaced it with something healthy. No more mumbling to myself to stay away from the candy bars. I just had to find the cue.
Remember, you are what you repeatedly do. Design your life by designing your habits. Identify the ones that hold you back from reaching your goals, the ones that slow you down. Find the cues, rewrite the programs!